I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
