when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
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