Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
wat bout pragnant strippers??
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
These tits shall not be calmed
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