do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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