my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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