It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
