I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
