he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
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He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
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Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize