Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
