He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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