we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I want to be your penis for a week.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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