Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She even gives head with a lisp.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
