Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
