Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Its about making memories worth repressing
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
