Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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