And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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