i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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