it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
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