God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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