he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
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I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Is it penis luge time yet?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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