I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
