If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
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Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
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Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
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