I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
