I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
