His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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