Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
