i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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