I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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