i think i have herpe
just one?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
