So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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