is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
