After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
