How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
