Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The uberlube is also flammable
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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