If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
