You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize
