yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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