and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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