SEEEEXXX PLEASE
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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