i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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