We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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