There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
