Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
