Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm just crazy horny about you
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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