I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
