she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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