Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
