conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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