your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
