DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
