she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
