1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Randomize