I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
