Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
