If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
