I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
