I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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