Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
