Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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