hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you inspire me to be a worse person
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
