I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
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Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
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Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The air taste purple.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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