I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
