Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
