I wannas sexs uuuuu
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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